Kelly Lacey

Baby Loss Awareness Week #BLAW2019

Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness week. A time when most people will flip past the stories being shared by parents who have lost a baby because its too painful or upsetting. But it is so important to those who have lost a baby to be able to talk about it and tell the world about their story.

My own world changed in February 2001, there is the Kelly before and the Kelly after. I didn’t have anyone to talk to properly about the loss and I my mind tried to keep me safe by giving me a mild case of agoraphobia. Everyone I talked to at the time was trying to be helpful and they would say it is okay you can try again. It made me so hurt and cross that simple flippant statement.

I have never been so excited and happy for something in my whole life. I was going to be a Mum. Growing up everyone asks what you want to be, my answer was always the same “a Mum”. The feelings of not not being enough or not good enough haunt you on the daily. You can’t help but think, why me?

The pain does not go away and I think of my Macauley most days. But it is more a haunting pain of all the things we missed together. I know one day Macauley will have his Mum with him again and I will hold on so tight to my wee bundle.

Fast forward eighteen years and now thankfully there are people who are there to help give you the support and tools in this sad situation.

If you are struggling or know someone who is, please get in touch with https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/get-involved/raising-awareness/babyloss-awareness-week. They will help you through this horrific time and they deal with all the different varieties of loss.

Thanks for listening.

Much love,

Kelly x

30 comments

  2. Sending love and hugs to you, Kelly. ❤️ My firstborn grandson was stillborn at 39 weeks in 2012. Our lives changed forever that day, but our Joey will live on in our hearts and in our family always. Beautiful post in remembrance of your precious son. Macauley is such a lovely name. ❤️ xx

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  5. Sending you big big hugs and lots of love, Kelly. Thank you for sharing your story, it can’t have been easy. Thinking of you, and hope very much to see you again soon. You are a very special person. xxxx

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  6. Oh Kelly. I had no idea. I know how much my own niece suffers having lost Emma Faith just 90 minutes before birth at full term so I am sending you all my love and support here. You’re still a mum even Macauley isn’t with you. xx

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  14. Oh Kelly, I’m so sorry to read this. I know what you mean having lost two babies before my beautiful rainbow 🌈 baby 👶 was born 12 years ago.

    I’ll be lighting a candle for all lost babies tonight. Xx

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  15. I’m so sorry, Kelly. I want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you sooo much love. I will always be here to support you. I think you are amazing. Massive hugs, Tana xx

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